


I'm A Slave 4 U

by haarleytargaryen



Series: Band Texts (5SOS) [5]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Ashton is PLASTERED, Calum is pissed lmAO, Luke is not amused, M/M, Michael is a dick, Neverland is REAL, The Author Regrets Nothing, This Is STUPID, a dog peed, aka ASHTON IRWIN, band texts, but he tries, nah I regret all of my life choices, people are horny, ship names frequently used
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 06:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2139930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haarleytargaryen/pseuds/haarleytargaryen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke: second thing.. u drunk texted me telling me u were horny and wanted to fuck me</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm A Slave 4 U

**Ashton** : Lukas

 

 **Ashton** : baub I lobe u

 

 **Ashton** : bAbvdee

 

 **Ashton** : im so fuvnkngi horni

 

 **Luke** : Ashton what the fuck

 

 **Ashton** : I wanGa fuck YOU

 

 **Ashton** : hahahaha

 

 **Ashton** : LUKASSSSSSSSSSSF

 

 **Ashton** : igm so fy7ciing drubcnk ruitWE noEw

 

 **Luke** : u have got to be kidding me

 

 **Ashton** : doNht be MAD aht MEDdEEE

 

 **Luke** : ur totally plastered aren’t u??

 

 **Ashton** : FUc LK YEDS

 

 **Luke** : babe

 

 **Luke** : think carefully okay?

 

 **Ashton** : aYHT7hgn for my bbEY <,#3

 

 **Luke** : oh god

 

 **Luke** : where are u??

 

 **Ashton** : IM IN NEVErLANCD!

 

 **Michael** : my phone keeps buzzing what the fuck

 

 **Ashton** : MIIIIKLAE!!11!

 

 **Calum** : it’s 4 in the morning guys god damn

 

 **Ashton** : COuLM N!1@

 

 **Michael** : omfg *laughing emoji*

 

 **Luke** : well Ashton’s drunk as fuck right now and I have no idea where he is

 

 **Ashton** : iM hi aS a KIGhT GUYds

 

 **Ashton** : LuK e im horny sycjk my ducK

 

 **Luke** : oh my god im

 

 **Michael** : im literally pissing myself rn oh my god

 

 **Calum** : hes gonna get himself killed jesus christ

 

 **Ashton** : I am sO frEE rigte nERW

 

 **Ashton** : I thin K a dofgh juSt peid Pn MEEEEe

 

 **Michael** : oh my GOD

 

 **Luke** : hun please tell me where u are

 

 **Ashton** : I thiNk im ON=n tgE edfge of the EarTH

 

 **Calum** : well this is getting us nowhere

 

 **Ashton** : COLUMN ShUFT UP

 

 **Ashton** : go svuk miChaelfs dUck

 

 **Michael** : OH MY GOD

 

 **Luke** : is that all you can say????

 

 **Ashton** : LukaS >>../>>> every1 else

 

 **Luke** : aww

 

 **Calum** : so I guess we just drive around until we find him?

 

 **Michael** : lmao im not doing SHIT *annoyed emoji*

 

 **Calum** : uh yeah u are

 

 **Michael** : im not ur slave u cant make me do anything

 

 **Calum** : …

 

 **Calum** : this will be handled in another discussion. *red angry emoji*

 

 **Luke** : Malum please we need to find Ashton before he gets run over

 

 

**_– The eventually find him, he’s passed out on a bench… Ashton drools, Michael laughs about it, Calum smacks him, and Luke gets puked on. –_ **

 

 

 **Ashton** : fuck my head hurts

 

 **Luke** : yeah? no shit asshole

 

 **Ashton** : what even happened?

 

 **Luke** : well for one u scared the SHIT OUT OF ME

 

 **Luke** : second thing.. u drunk texted me telling me u were horny and wanted to fuck me

 

 **Ashton** : shit

 

 **Luke** : and a dog peed on ur shirt

 

 **Luke** : and u wouldn't reply to my texts and I thought u got RUN OVER

 

 **Michael** : and u made Calum mad at me

 

 **Calum** : no u did that urself

 

 **Michael** : that’s besides the point

 

 **Calum** : we still need to discuss who’s in charge in this relationship

 

 **Luke** : MALUM FUCK OFF

 

 **Luke** : anyways

 

 **Luke** : THEN u puked on my favorite shoes

 

 **Luke** : then u passed out and I had to basically fireman carry u back to the hotel

 

 **Michael** : and THEN u made Calum throw me out of our hotel room

 

 **Calum** : um no u did that urself too

 

 **Michael** : BESIDES THE POINT, COLUMN.

 

 **Calum** : don’t fucking caLL ME COLUMN.

 

 **Michael** : COLUMN COLUMN COLUMN COLuMN

 

 **Calum** : im breaking up with u

 

 **Michael** : what

 

 **Calum** : goodbyE

 

 **Michael** : wait what

 

 **Michael** : babe

 

 **Michael** : bby

 

 **Michael** : Calum

 

 **Michael** : CALUM BAAE IM SORRY

 

 **Michael** : PLS

 

 **Luke** : lol #whipped

 

 **Michael** : STFU LUCIFER


End file.
